[From a teaching on the Aspiration Prayer of Mahamudra by the Third Karmapa given by Bardor Tulku Rinpoche at Kunzang Palchen Ling in May 2012. Translated by Lama Yeshe Gyamtso. Transcribed by Linda Lee. Edited by Matt Willis. All rights reserved. Please do not reprint without permission.]
Question: I’ve been having a problem with doubt. It seems almost overwhelming at times. There is just so much negativity about practice and doubts, things like that.
Rinpoche: This is what’s called an obstacle. But the word “obstacle” in English has one misleading connotation. In English, it implies something extraneous to the road we’re traveling on. It’s like a tree that falls across the road, something that’s not part of the territory. But in Tibetan, the road, barche, doesn’t have that connotation. It’s like part of the terrain that’s difficult. Getting there is a good thing.
It’s natural that whatever practice you’re doing, the more intense you are, the more focused you are on it, the exact opposite of what you are trying to achieve will hit you in the face again and again. So, when you’re trying to purify, you experience all your crud; when you’re trying to cultivate devotion, you experience doubt.
That is healthy because the function of the practice is to overcome that. You can’t overcome something until you’ve encountered it. So, it is a battle. Practice is a battle. And as with any battle, you damn well better win! If you get in a fight, you better win the fight. That’s what practice is. Expecting practice to not involve encountering the opposite of what you’re trying to do would be like getting in a boxing ring and no opponent ever getting in. It hasn’t begun yet. It begins when you’re both in the ring. What you need to do is recognize that this doesn’t mean that something’s gone wrong; it means that something is going right. But you have to win.
